Jesus as Savior, as Distinct from Jesus as Lord

In 2001, at the age of 12, I stood in a pew, inching—and hesitating—inching again towards the front of our church, where many were on their knees, crying, repenting, and finally, I made my way up there. I repented of my sins.

Actually, my repentance occurred when I stopped the heinous, abominable sin which I had been satanically led into committing for a period of time and got rid of all of the associated articles. I don’t remember whether I asked God to forgive me on that day when suddenly my eyes were opened to what exactly I was doing. Later, I know that I begged His forgiveness for that sin specifically, but on that day I experienced metanoia, the 180-degree turn of the mind which is translated from the Greek as repentance. By God’s grace, I had been led to turn from my sin and in 2001 to embrace Jesus as my Savior.

I do not know whether I was saved at the moment I turned from my sin or at the moment I prayed for repentance, or even later. I know that around the dark time of my 16^th year, I was seeking to know how you know you’ve got the Holy Spirit in you, how to know you’re saved.  God sent a sermon on the subject, and I accepted by faith that the Holy Spirit enters your heart at the moment of repentance. The Holy Spirit was not Someone I had ever felt in me, or consulted, or thought about, but now I believed that He lived in me.

I believed I was saved. Jesus was my Savior. But He was not my Lord. I was lord over my own life, making my own decisions based on what I wanted and what I thought was best. What I thought was best led me into an infatuation with Marxism, a satanic philosophy that is transforming our nation’s culture away from God’s social design. God, in His tremendous grace, led me to the Truth Project, through which the Holy Spirit convicted me of the fact that God, through His word, tells us how He wants every part of our life to be, and not just the spiritual part. The authority of Jesus is not fenced in on the spiritual side of me; He is to be Lord of my every area of my life and through me and my influence in my world, He is to be Lord over this world.

Through the Truth Project, the Holy Spirit continued the transformation of my mind. Now, I seek to live out God’s design in my life, because Jesus is Lord over my worldview, over my thoughts, over my opinions, over my actions. That means that I have no opinion of my own. Every statement I utter, every decision I make is informed and decided by God’s method and design, as revealed in His word.

That’s the goal anyway. I’m not there yet but it’s what I strive towards as I grow in my knowledge of God, His will, and His design. Jesus, may You take dominion over my life, every single area of it. Conform me to Your design. May I be worthy of Your name and Your sacrifice. 

Philippians 3:12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.