Looking out for yourself

I was thinking the other day that you really have to be looking out for your own interests. 

When you put your needs/wants/time/interests aside to fill the needs/wants/time/interests of others, your efforts--even among friends--are often left unreciprocated. Sometimes you just want someone to be looking out for you, you know? 

This discrepancy between the role that you would like people to play in your life and what they actually do only serves to point you to find your satisfaction in God. Though people in your life often fail you in the little things and sometimes in the big things, God is faithful. You can trust Him to take care of your interests.

blood & body

For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.

1 Corinthians 11:26

So communion, then, is the event/act/ritual that ties together [what Christ did in the past] with [what He promised for the future] in the present. Communion is the reminder of where we would be in the future--hell--if Christ hadn't died for us in the past. It reminds us of our imperfection, of how far we are from achieving holiness and therefore why we need grace.

Communion is our testimony that He will come to fulfill His promises and the words of the prophets. Since we testify to this, we are reminded of what will become of all the people who do not accept Christ's sacrifice and a sense of urgency fills our hearts.

We are not here on this earth to save just ourselves. We are not saved just to check it off on the list of things to do before we die and then to go on comfortably fulfilling whatever our desire has added to that to-do list. We are saved so that we can win as many souls as we can to be saved with us.

Communion reminds us of our mission in the war over each person's soul and helps us refocus our attention on fulfilling this mission.

Too Late

I'm reading Hebrews right now, in Russian, of course. 

Much of the book so far is so beautiful, aweful and humbling in its depiction of God's sovereignty, and then I come upon a verse like 4:1, which, paraphrased and translated into English, warns against being too late to enter into the peace of the Lord. 

The ESV says "failed to reach it," which, in my mind, conveys distance (as we are separated from the Lord while in our sins) rather than time, as in in the Russian version. The KJV, too, gives a translation similar to ESV.

It's no wonder I have been confused about salvation for much of my life, when the Russian Bible puts time pressure on you, and the Arminianists with whom I grew up applied that pressure even further.

But how can a sheep of God's fold be too late to enter into His peace, when God has chosen him from eternity past, when Christ has died "to make certain the salvation of all that the Father had given to Him" (AW Pink)?

All the Single Ladies: the Sovereignty of God in Relationships

When I was sixteen, I asked God for a sign about the guy I liked, to see if he was The One, and then I built an idol out of him.

Because the Lord is gracious and faithful to change me--bit by bit--into the image of His Son, He brought me through the Valley of Humiliation to destroy this idol. Through pain and heartache God humbled me tremendously and made me cling to Him.

Since then, there have been other guys I liked but in each case, the Lord closed the door to a relationship. In two cases, God used my dad as a means to separate me from the guy I liked. My dad didn't even know it but his phone call or his decision in an aspect of my life disrupted my plans and potential with a guy.

I was upset, I was angry, I cried.

But life goes on. 

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I discovered a passage that has helped me to better understand God's hand in my almost-relationships. Genesis 20:1-7 is one of those times when Abraham told everyone that his wife is his sister and she ends up in an almost-relationship. But nothing happened and this is what God said to the man in this almost-relationship:

I know that you have done this in the integrity of your heart, and it was I who kept you from sinning against me. Therefore I did not let you touch her. (v.6)

The Lord did not let him touch her. 

Just like the Lord has not let any guy touch me. He is in control of my relationships. He is keeping me for the man He has "appointed" for me (Genesis 24:14).

I am comforted knowing that the Lord is in control. Sometimes it is difficult to keep my peace, because every song on secular radio is about "love," because there is loneliness to deal with, because there is a Russian community that looks at me suspiciously because I am over the age of twenty and still unmarried.

But whenever I feel pressure or sadness from these things, I turn to the Lord and remember that He is wise and good. He knows what He's doing and He will not keep any good thing from me, but He will give it to me in His own time and in His own way.

I'm thankful too, for my dad, because he never pressures me. In fact, he has always counseled me and my siblings, telling us that it is better never to marry than to marry and suffer.

I'm also thankful for the understanding I have gained about God closing doors. That way, I will be able to recognize my Appointed One--because the Lord will open all the doors.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6,7

The Lord's Extravagant Kindness in Covenants with the Undeserving

"He remembers His covenant forever"

Psalm 105:8

Oh my Lord, bless You for "remembering Your covenant forever."

Bless You for Your promise to me in the first place! In my heart, I feel like, why would You enter into a covenant with me? I have no claims on You. I can make no demands for You to promise me anything.

I committed treason against You. I hated You. I made other gods and defiled myself in worship of their false images. I clung to them and gave them my desperate devotion--but they despised me, cast me off into filth.

But You! You found me there in the mire and saved me out of my spiritual adultery. You took me in and washed me. You covered me, broken and vulnerable, with Your righteousness and put Your love upon me. You waited in patience and pity while I, delirious, stumbled about in anguishing withdrawals from sin, craving it madly, blind to its destruction. In compassion You heal my sin-inflicted wounds.

I am weak and undeserving of even this mercy but You made a covenant with me. In Your extravagant grace You gave me gifts over and infinitely above what I deserve. 

It's hard to believe that You will remember Your covenant to me, because I know I don't deserve it. The knowledge brings me in weakness to my knees and I crumble in self-abandonment. I cannot rely upon myself even to have faith. I cast myself upon Your strength, hoping--if not quite believing--that You are true to Your word. Help me believe, Lord.

Approach, my soul, the mercy seat

Where Holy One and helpless meet.

There fall before my Judge's feet.

Thy promise is my only plea, O God.

Abraham's Intercession for Sodom and Gomorrah

Abraham's Prayer

• Abraham stood before the Lord.
• Abraham drew near and asked.
• Abraham calls on God's character as ground for his petition. Basically, Abraham is saying that he is asking in accordance with God's will and for His glory.
• His prayer is well-founded.
• Abraham remembers his own position before God: "I am but dust and ashes."
• He came in humility, not arrogance. 
• Abraham is not demanding that his will be done, only petitioning.
• We can only come before God because Jesus made a way for us.

Leading Up to the Petition
God said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do...?" Abraham was in communion with God, in His presence. Life in God's presence gave Abraham understanding of God's plan and purpose for Sodom and Gomorrah. This understanding gave Abraham a desire for intercessory prayer.

The Petition
God gave Abraham a desire to petition Him on behalf of the righteous in Sodom and Gomorrah. God did so knowing He would not answer the prayer as Abraham hoped, yet Abraham was perhaps satisfied because Lot was saved.

Abraham's Heart
God caused Abraham to pray though He would not fulfill his request. Why? What was God doing in Abraham's heart?

Perhaps Abraham was learning about God's 

judgment

mercy 

holiness

sovereignty.

God gave Abraham the faith to ask and then the grace to submit to the sovereign outworking of His will. Abraham could draw near to God and ask this request because he had confidence in His relationship with the Lord. He was glad in communion with God even though he did not get what he prayed for.

My Heart

From my own walk with God I know that I have been passive in intercessory prayer because 

• My prayers are self-centered. I am focused on self in life, and why would prayer life be any different? I say this to my shame.
• In the shallowness of my communion with God, I am passive before His sovereignty, as one who is not close enough in relationship to carry any weight. I do not have confidence to approach Him with a petition.

Jesus's Heart

Perhaps in this scene Abraham is a picture of Jesus. Abraham represented the promised people. He was the middleman between God and the righteous in Sodom and Gomorrah. He had great responsibility before God as the one through whom God would work out His purpose in redemptive history--like Jesus.

In Jesus all the nations are blessed. God has chosen to command His children after Jesus to keep His ways by doing righteousness and justice (Gen. 18:18,19). Jesus ceaselessly intercedes on our behalf before the Father. 

I thank God because God's purpose for us will not fail, since Jesus' intercession for His own will not fail. He is faithful to complete the work He has begun in us. 

Our Hearts

Since Jesus died to bring us into the joy of the Lord, into God's presence, let us take full advantage of our status in Him. Let us stand humbly and draw near to God to do what Jesus does. Let us intercede for His people, for all nations, so they may have fullness of joy in communion with Him. 

As we pray for others, let us be mindful of God's work in our own hearts. Let us gladly submit to the sovereign outworking of His will. He is good. He is wise. To Him be the glory in all things. Amen.

What is Love

There is a lot of talk about love in society in songs and music. They define what love looks like. We, their audience, absorb that definition and look for it or try to create it in our own lives. In our own lives, we know some people who talk a lot about the love that is on their mind. We also know others who do not speak much of love at all, because to do so would be to make us vulnerable to the scrutiny of outsiders who wonder if we are defective because we are not in a relationship.

 

But what is love? What is the characterization of the kind of love that leads to marriage? It is much more than a physical expression. Rather, it is predominantly an issue of the heart.

I will be discussing the following four topics relating to our experience of love before marriage:

• Love is not driven by fear.
• The hope for love must be self-controlled and grounded in reality.
• Love requires active waiting and responsibility in timing.
• Love is relationship cultivation.

Love is not driven by fear.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

Sometimes, as we get older and feel more pressure from society, we begin to fear that we will never marry. Mostly, this fear is driven by the fear of what people will say about us. We could probably live a happy life being single, but we imagine that people will pity us or talk about us behind our backs, so we fear singleness. 

This fear makes us more willing to lower our spiritual standards when choosing to enter into a relationship. It makes us want to cling tightly to a person, for fear of them leaving us. 

A wise man once told me to hold God's gifts in an open palm rather than a clenched fist. If God gives us a gift, He may require us to give it up. Trying to hold onto it with all our might will only cause more pain, denial, anger, etc. 

Remember that God's purpose is not that we should be happy or that we should be married. His purpose is to transform us into Christ's image. Joy comes in that, certainly, and marriage may come too (though God does not owe us marriage). He may give us the gift of a relationship or the hope of a relationship to cultivate our dependence upon Him, our trust in Him, our love for and preference of Him. And then He may take away that gift or that hope, so that we may then be further sanctified in dealing with disappointment, learning to be satisfied in Him. 

So love must not be driven by fear. If we feel this kind of fear, we must go to God and cling to Him. Clinging to a fallen human being will always prove to be disappointing, and more than that, it is a heart issue, because we may in a sense be making a god out of this person, hoping that they will meet our every need. Only God can do that. 


The hope for love must be self-controlled and grounded in reality.



When we like someone, we may allow our imagination the freedom to create all sorts of sentimental hopes and ideas of what love with that person could be like. In doing so, we are adding fuel to a fire that may need to be extinguished altogether rather than encouraged. 

Remember that we may in fact not marry this person, but if we spend time imagining all sorts of things, we may fall into sin in our hearts. Two sins that threaten us here are the sins of idolatry and adultery.

An out-of-control hope for love (it may be a love sickness at this point) may bring us to make an idol out of that person. We have heard the saying that our god is what most often occupies our minds. We must be careful to guard our hearts from such idolatry, because God will certainly crush these hopes in order to bring us back to worship Him. He alone is worthy of worship. He requires it of us and will move circumstances in our lives to make us worship Him.

We must be careful, too, that in hoping for love, we will not fall into adultery in our hearts. We do not know if we will marry that person or if we will marry at all, so it is crucial to work out purity in our thoughts to safeguard against adultery in our hearts.

Purity in thought will also help us to stay grounded in reality. We can get carried away imagining all sorts of things about a person, creating in our minds an image of who we would like that person to be rather than who they actually are. This can lead to greater disappointment because now that person is not living up to the expectations we have created in our own hearts.


Love requires active waiting and responsibility in timing.



In our young single years, we tend to live our lives as we please because we are single and tied to less responsibilities than those who are married and have familial concerns. We tend to eat out more, hang out more, spend more, travel more. All of these are fine in moderation. But remember that to be married, we need money. 

We need money for the wedding itself, which today costs a great deal more as people try to display their style and creativity and go all out. If we want to have a beautiful wedding, we will need to prepare for it. We must not expect our parents to cover the bill. 

Much more importantly, we will need money to live, after the wedding. We all know that marriage does not end after the honeymoon but sometimes, when we are on the single side, we see the wedding as the end result towards which we strive, rather than the beginning of something new. 

We must wait through our single years actively and wisely, working and saving money for the future. Think ahead. We must not spend all of out time and money on today's pleasures. 

We must also be responsible and wise in our timing of marriage, because love that is of God can and will wait.

If we are not yet able to get along with our sibling and parents, it may be wise to put off thinking about getting married, choosing instead to work on our character. Our family of origin is God's training ground for marriage. If we are unable to adapt to and have a good relationship with these people, whose habits and understandings we know, what makes us think we will have a good relationship with a person who will most certainly have entirely different understandings and habits to which we will have to adapt?

If we do not yet have a stable job, it may be best to wait a while to get married. Proverbs 24 says, 

Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house,

the point being that we should think ahead and prepare all that we will need to build a family. Sometimes we can be in such a hurry to get married and do not prepare properly, only to find ourselves struggling to survive on our own. 


Love is relationship cultivation.




In our culture of dating, couples may spend much time doing stuff together to get to know each other. Often, we end up getting to know each other on a superficial level and after the wedding find that we've married a complete stranger. 

It is crucial to cultivate a relationship in which we talk about the deep things of the heart. Remember that a marriage is first and foremost a relationship in which we will help sanctify our spouse and they will help sanctify us. It is all about our relationship with God still. We are not trading in our relationship with God for a relationship with another person.

It can be beneficial to talk about our history--our testimony of God's work in our life, what we've been through and learned, our favorite childhood experiences, etc. This way, we set the context for understanding the other person. 

It can also be beneficial to talk about our hopes for the future. I don't mean that we should compare bucket lists. It can be helpful to talk about how we view family life and what we would like to accomplish in life, in church, in education, in our career. This way, we can see if we are headed in the same general direction or if we would be continually moving apart after marriage.




There is much to consider for love and marriage. The point is, think it through. Do not rush. Do not fear. Trust God.