All the Single Ladies: the Sovereignty of God in Relationships

When I was sixteen, I asked God for a sign about the guy I liked, to see if he was The One, and then I built an idol out of him.

Because the Lord is gracious and faithful to change me--bit by bit--into the image of His Son, He brought me through the Valley of Humiliation to destroy this idol. Through pain and heartache God humbled me tremendously and made me cling to Him.

Since then, there have been other guys I liked but in each case, the Lord closed the door to a relationship. In two cases, God used my dad as a means to separate me from the guy I liked. My dad didn't even know it but his phone call or his decision in an aspect of my life disrupted my plans and potential with a guy.

I was upset, I was angry, I cried.

But life goes on. 

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I discovered a passage that has helped me to better understand God's hand in my almost-relationships. Genesis 20:1-7 is one of those times when Abraham told everyone that his wife is his sister and she ends up in an almost-relationship. But nothing happened and this is what God said to the man in this almost-relationship:

I know that you have done this in the integrity of your heart, and it was I who kept you from sinning against me. Therefore I did not let you touch her. (v.6)

The Lord did not let him touch her. 

Just like the Lord has not let any guy touch me. He is in control of my relationships. He is keeping me for the man He has "appointed" for me (Genesis 24:14).

I am comforted knowing that the Lord is in control. Sometimes it is difficult to keep my peace, because every song on secular radio is about "love," because there is loneliness to deal with, because there is a Russian community that looks at me suspiciously because I am over the age of twenty and still unmarried.

But whenever I feel pressure or sadness from these things, I turn to the Lord and remember that He is wise and good. He knows what He's doing and He will not keep any good thing from me, but He will give it to me in His own time and in His own way.

I'm thankful too, for my dad, because he never pressures me. In fact, he has always counseled me and my siblings, telling us that it is better never to marry than to marry and suffer.

I'm also thankful for the understanding I have gained about God closing doors. That way, I will be able to recognize my Appointed One--because the Lord will open all the doors.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6,7