Looking out for yourself

I was thinking the other day that you really have to be looking out for your own interests. 

When you put your needs/wants/time/interests aside to fill the needs/wants/time/interests of others, your efforts--even among friends--are often left unreciprocated. Sometimes you just want someone to be looking out for you, you know? 

This discrepancy between the role that you would like people to play in your life and what they actually do only serves to point you to find your satisfaction in God. Though people in your life often fail you in the little things and sometimes in the big things, God is faithful. You can trust Him to take care of your interests.

blood & body

For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.

1 Corinthians 11:26

So communion, then, is the event/act/ritual that ties together [what Christ did in the past] with [what He promised for the future] in the present. Communion is the reminder of where we would be in the future--hell--if Christ hadn't died for us in the past. It reminds us of our imperfection, of how far we are from achieving holiness and therefore why we need grace.

Communion is our testimony that He will come to fulfill His promises and the words of the prophets. Since we testify to this, we are reminded of what will become of all the people who do not accept Christ's sacrifice and a sense of urgency fills our hearts.

We are not here on this earth to save just ourselves. We are not saved just to check it off on the list of things to do before we die and then to go on comfortably fulfilling whatever our desire has added to that to-do list. We are saved so that we can win as many souls as we can to be saved with us.

Communion reminds us of our mission in the war over each person's soul and helps us refocus our attention on fulfilling this mission.

Too Late

I'm reading Hebrews right now, in Russian, of course. 

Much of the book so far is so beautiful, aweful and humbling in its depiction of God's sovereignty, and then I come upon a verse like 4:1, which, paraphrased and translated into English, warns against being too late to enter into the peace of the Lord. 

The ESV says "failed to reach it," which, in my mind, conveys distance (as we are separated from the Lord while in our sins) rather than time, as in in the Russian version. The KJV, too, gives a translation similar to ESV.

It's no wonder I have been confused about salvation for much of my life, when the Russian Bible puts time pressure on you, and the Arminianists with whom I grew up applied that pressure even further.

But how can a sheep of God's fold be too late to enter into His peace, when God has chosen him from eternity past, when Christ has died "to make certain the salvation of all that the Father had given to Him" (AW Pink)?

All the Single Ladies: the Sovereignty of God in Relationships

When I was sixteen, I asked God for a sign about the guy I liked, to see if he was The One, and then I built an idol out of him.

Because the Lord is gracious and faithful to change me--bit by bit--into the image of His Son, He brought me through the Valley of Humiliation to destroy this idol. Through pain and heartache God humbled me tremendously and made me cling to Him.

Since then, there have been other guys I liked but in each case, the Lord closed the door to a relationship. In two cases, God used my dad as a means to separate me from the guy I liked. My dad didn't even know it but his phone call or his decision in an aspect of my life disrupted my plans and potential with a guy.

I was upset, I was angry, I cried.

But life goes on. 

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I discovered a passage that has helped me to better understand God's hand in my almost-relationships. Genesis 20:1-7 is one of those times when Abraham told everyone that his wife is his sister and she ends up in an almost-relationship. But nothing happened and this is what God said to the man in this almost-relationship:

I know that you have done this in the integrity of your heart, and it was I who kept you from sinning against me. Therefore I did not let you touch her. (v.6)

The Lord did not let him touch her. 

Just like the Lord has not let any guy touch me. He is in control of my relationships. He is keeping me for the man He has "appointed" for me (Genesis 24:14).

I am comforted knowing that the Lord is in control. Sometimes it is difficult to keep my peace, because every song on secular radio is about "love," because there is loneliness to deal with, because there is a Russian community that looks at me suspiciously because I am over the age of twenty and still unmarried.

But whenever I feel pressure or sadness from these things, I turn to the Lord and remember that He is wise and good. He knows what He's doing and He will not keep any good thing from me, but He will give it to me in His own time and in His own way.

I'm thankful too, for my dad, because he never pressures me. In fact, he has always counseled me and my siblings, telling us that it is better never to marry than to marry and suffer.

I'm also thankful for the understanding I have gained about God closing doors. That way, I will be able to recognize my Appointed One--because the Lord will open all the doors.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6,7

The Lord's Extravagant Kindness in Covenants with the Undeserving

"He remembers His covenant forever"

Psalm 105:8

Oh my Lord, bless You for "remembering Your covenant forever."

Bless You for Your promise to me in the first place! In my heart, I feel like, why would You enter into a covenant with me? I have no claims on You. I can make no demands for You to promise me anything.

I committed treason against You. I hated You. I made other gods and defiled myself in worship of their false images. I clung to them and gave them my desperate devotion--but they despised me, cast me off into filth.

But You! You found me there in the mire and saved me out of my spiritual adultery. You took me in and washed me. You covered me, broken and vulnerable, with Your righteousness and put Your love upon me. You waited in patience and pity while I, delirious, stumbled about in anguishing withdrawals from sin, craving it madly, blind to its destruction. In compassion You heal my sin-inflicted wounds.

I am weak and undeserving of even this mercy but You made a covenant with me. In Your extravagant grace You gave me gifts over and infinitely above what I deserve. 

It's hard to believe that You will remember Your covenant to me, because I know I don't deserve it. The knowledge brings me in weakness to my knees and I crumble in self-abandonment. I cannot rely upon myself even to have faith. I cast myself upon Your strength, hoping--if not quite believing--that You are true to Your word. Help me believe, Lord.

Approach, my soul, the mercy seat

Where Holy One and helpless meet.

There fall before my Judge's feet.

Thy promise is my only plea, O God.